I've been reflecting on my adult life and am blown away by the challenges I've been given and how each time I somehow found the strength to overcome.
After high school, I moved 1,200 miles away from the only life I knew and started college in a new state, without a single established relationship to rely on. Nine years later, I left that college town that now will forever have a huge pull on my heart.
In December 2008, I got engaged and a few weeks later, I broke off the engagement. Looking back, I have no idea how I had the courage to make that decision but I'm glad I did. I remember fasting and praying for an answer on if I should marry that man and I'll always remember the words I heard in response "He won't make you as happy as you could be." How incredible to look at my life now and know my complete sense of happiness is a fulfillment of listening to that prompting.
Six months into our marriage we felt inspired to begin our family. Nearly two years later, we finally got pregnant with McKay. That time was a devastating one. The unknowns, hurtful comments, questioning our worthiness and frustrations were as real as our heartache. BUT now seeing how our family has evolved we know that delay of pregnancy was for a purpose and that God always had a plan for us.
Just two weeks before Macey was born my mom was diagnosed with Stage 4B Uterine Cancer. Before her diagnosis, she had a hysterectomy and as a result had cancelled her trip to come help me transition to a mother of two. I remember being so hurt and unwilling to believe that she wasn't coming to meet my fresh newborn. Cancer was such a new concept for me as was having a newborn + toddler and I have no idea how I accepted both simultaneously. Somehow, yet again, I was strengthened by my Heavenly Father and given the tools I needed to get through each day.
Now, as I try to wrap my mind around the calling I just received (I hate being vague, but I don't want to post it until I'm sustained) I know challenges are ahead but I also know I've been given this opportunity to learn, to open my heart and to share the love we all desire to feel. The Bishop said he is completely confident that the Lord has called me and the comfort that followed those words made all the difference.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that life is truly unpredictable and each unexpected turn makes us who we are and as painful as some may be, it's worth every minute to be able to draw closer to our Heavenly Father and who he wants us to become.